We live in an age of instant dinners, instant success, and instant intimacy. We expect ourselves to meet someone and know immediately that we were meant for each other. After all, in our busy lives we don’t have the time for long, drawn out courtships. Instant intimacy is one of the characteristics of addictive relationships.
In fact, when recovering women experience a bit of instant intimacy, they have learned to run for the hills. This kind of instant connection usually does not wear well. Intimacy takes time.
It is a process. It needs to be fed, valued, nurtured and allowed to grow.
When we try to manipulate intimacy, we kill it. In fact, we often use instant intimacy to avoid the possibility of real intimacy