Realization: A Human Satire

So…my feet are swollen and I just cried watching a fucking tv commercial about some shit that wasn’t sweet, sad, sappy or tragic. Me thinks the change is not far off.

Oy… I should have been more of a slut in high school.

Oy…I probably should have told the young tender what room I was in that time in Atlanta after the tour was over.

Oy…every guy I’ve ever dated married the next broad after me.

Oy…A gay dude asked me for my number last night. I gave it to him.
At least I’ll have a well dressed companion when I decide to go out creeping for trade.

Oy…I like saying oy.

Cock. Balls. Makes the world go round.

No one knows how painful it is to be childless, while stupid cunts continue to produce. And some of them even have devoted partners. Should be a law against it.

I’ve waited a long time to be comfortable with myself and my relationship with God. Kindly exit right if you feel you must share with me your opinion. God says we’re good and you should fall back and gimme my 50 feet.

One of my good girlfriends is a new lesbian.  I’ve never seen her look happier. Even while suffering the wrath of her angry baby daddy. We all support you mama… and punks apparently DO jump up to get beat down… so he can kick rocks… abusive jerk. Of COURSE she’s a lesbian after you.

Regarding dudes marrying the next chick after me – I wish one of them would stop calling me asking to come over. YOU married the one who you thought wouldn’t give you any trouble, BEFORE you realized you wanted to actually FEEL love…not just pontificate about whether or not it really exists.  Sucks to be you… but if you don’t stop calling me, I’m gonna embarrass you. By inviting you and your wife over for a little chit chat about the holes in your charade.

Whew… I feel a wee bit better now.

How the hell are YOU doing?

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