I am a fierce believer in keeping more than a few outlets on stock for rainy days and emotional upkeep. It’s healthy … having friends.
I’ve been the devoted blah blah da da dee before…and on my watch it’s been done remarkably WELL and remarkably WRONG in many ways.
Love has taught me many a thing and dating while working in marketing is a bitch and a half to find success in. I failed so many times, that I finally quit.
The elder ladies have always passed down to those of us who listen, to have 5 man friends at a time, at all times. We won’t play a player’s game and reveal the who’s and the why’s surrounding the 5-guy rule here, because it’s just too much.
And as they say, the game is not really meant to be told.
I’m a healthy, busy young lady who travels both physically in terms of work/life travel – AND I travel deeply, regularly through the stratosphere known as the internet. I dabble in flirtation and cyber this and that just like you do…and I keep a couple studs in the stable…but nothing serious. It can’t be serious, because I can’t be serious unless it’s a super man. He exists, because I’ve loved him before… it’s an energy and I’ll know it when I feel it again.
Until then, it’s all geography and dress rehearsal for the big day.
So you date and you have friends and folks that stick around the peripheral of your life, and you like them… enough. As much as they give you, you give back and you go on and the months and years go by. As friends. Who maybe cross the line here and there.
I began to notice certain patterns…
I’m a really good companion if you’re the kinda guy who likes a woman who is nurturing and really cares about you and all that. I like to think that my true friends can feel my love for them, through my actions and my compassion for their place in my life. I hope so because if you’re in my world for real, you are truly a guest visiting my life and I want to make you feel welcome. And usually giggly and silly too. It’s my style…after being a crazy conspiracy nut.
So I noticed the pattern of “take no give” with both the young men in my life at the moment. Friends. Who may or may not have crossed some fuzzy or grey line at one point in the time I’ve known them. (smile)
Take so much that you scare yourself with how good it feels to be in company.
Take so much, you get fat and lazy and treat it as an after thought.
No give. Nothing to feed the beautiful lady who laughs at your jokes and treats you to such wonderful southern hospitality.
No give. Like I don’t wanna feel appreciated and warm and “liked” for who the hell I am.
So I decided to not answer the phone anymore.
Not for you, Mr Mama’s Boy, who likes me for my “mindgasm” and the fact I’m a good listener. You defended those Hebrew Israelites on Youtube talking trash about Black women and while I enjoy the cat and mouse, I’d never truly believe you’re not one of them. All that philosophizing needed to turn into a tiny bit of carnal fraternizing, but it never happened. I figured you didn’t like me til you started bitchin’ like a jilted lover when I went invisible on you. All that whining is a major turnoff and so, you gotta go.
And I’m not answering the phone for you either, Mr. Can’t Quite Get Over Getting Played When I Was 25. You exhaust me with your inconsistency, but you’re so charming and such a great person, I know it’s unhealthy for me to participate. Wisdom says, I’ll get hurt and fuck that. No wet willie, even a stellar one like yours is worth the wait once a girl is of a certain age. TTYL, postcards and gifts are available on your way out.
We’ve played this game long enough, and I just want to turn the page and just free myself. In strange ways, I love you both…but this is where the lady steps off.